Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

I was tired of fighting.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Why did the massacre of al-Dawayima Palestinian residents not have the same reverberations as the Deir Yasin massacre?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Do you usually wear your panties over or under your pantyhose?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

The sadness was still there.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

What are the best self-care practices to improve mental health?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

How do flat Earthers explain the existence of other spherical planets?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

You are like me, then.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

My girlfriend lied and said she never gave oral until me. She was very skilled. I’m upset with her lying. Do I dump her?

It’s here now, writing to you.

I was tired of trying and failing.

I had run out of hope.

Why were the Japanese soldiers in WW II so hesitant to surrender in battle?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Be who you already are.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Why is the world male-dominated?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

And the sadness?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Why have feminists not demanded that females be required to register with the selective service? Are female lives more precious than male lives?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It’s still here.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

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When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.